Why You Shouldn’t Fake It Till You Make It

Research shows that our instincts tell us to ask ourselves two questions when we first meet someone:

Can I trust this person?

Can I respect this person?

We look to a person's genuine warmth and competence for answers. Trust is essential, and we only evaluate someone’s competence after some trust has been established. In other words, if someone can’t trust you, you won’t get very far with them. Don’t subscribe to “fake it till you make it.” When you aren’t true to yourself, it’s impossible to feel confident in your own skin because you’re so focused on keeping up the facade.

On the other hand, if you come across as warm and trustworthy first and prove your competence later, people will admire your strength and evaluate you more positively.

And think about this: if you are sincere and authentic with people, you are automatically encouraging the same behavior in them. Leading with authenticity is not only the basis for success but also makes you a worthy role model.

To read more about topics like this one, check out my book The Myth of the Nice Girl.