The Importance of Mentoring in the Moment

Have you ever received feedback from a mentor that unlocked new opportunities or significantly changed your career trajectory? 

I’ve been fortunate to have a handful of these experiences throughout my career.

Given that January is National Mentoring Month and it’s the last day of the month, I thought I’d share my VERY FIRST mentoring experience with my manager, Lou Sciarretta, at Ernst & Young in the hope that it inspires mentors and mentees alike. 

Here it goes:

When I first started at Ernst & Young, I was the youngest person in the room and was sometimes intimidated by the prominent clients we served. In each meeting, I’d either say nothing at all or respond with some platitude like “That’s interesting.” I didn’t want to make waves or create conflict by voicing a strong opinion. It was my way of showing interest and being a part of the conversation while always trying to remain agreeable.

One day, after one of these meetings, Lou pulled me aside. “Fran, you’re yessing the client to death,” he told me. “It’s okay to push back sometimes if you do it respectfully. It actually makes you less interesting to say ‘yes’ or ‘that’s interesting’ all the time. You need to start saying something more significant and sharing your opinions.” 

Not only was it incredibly generous of Lou to take time out of his busy schedule to point this out and push me in the right direction, but it was the first time I realized that I was trying to be too much of a “people pleaser” at work. 

So, I took his advice — I started speaking up and sharing my points of view. It was a shaky start, but slowly and surely my voice meant something in those meetings. I was no longer invisible and became top of mind for high-profile projects and other opportunities. I was promoted at Ernst & Young and ultimately went to work for the client (the same one that I found to be intimidating!). 

This experience with Lou also taught me the importance of mentoring in the moment – of not waiting until the annual performance review to share precious feedback. Taking the time to advise a mentee immediately and in a more informal setting builds trust and confidence and allows them to process the feedback more effectively. 

I‘ve adopted this approach myself as a mentor. I don’t always get it right, but I try!

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