This Strategy Helped Me Speak Up in Meetings
Are you ever in a group situation at work and you have something you really want to say, and it’s right at the tip of your tongue, and then you hold back? You’d be surprised how many confident, intelligent women are hesitant to speak up in front of others. I understand it because I’ve been there myself.
Very early on in my career, when I was assigned to big projects, I found myself in regular meetings with high-powered executives. There was one executive in particular who I found to be intimidating. I was nervous to speak when he was in the room other than making throwaway statements like “that’s interesting” (which is not helpful or productive). Have you ever found yourself using throwaway statements?
After one such meeting, my boss and mentor pulled me to the side and said, “Fran, you’re smart and have important thoughts and opinions that should be heard. You have to stop with the “that’s interesting!” He was right.
Before the next meeting I looked at the agenda and I selected one topic that I was the most comfortable speaking about and I practiced what I was going to say. When we got to that agenda item in the meeting, I shared my thoughts. I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but I did it. And the more I spoke up… the more comfortable and confident I actually became. And the feedback I got from everyone was so positive! If I hadn’t spoken up, I would have continued to be invisible and would have missed out on so many great opportunities.
No matter how brilliant and impressive you are in one-on-one discussions, not speaking up in meetings hurts your chances of succeeding professionally, and of being seen at all.
If you have difficulty speaking up in a group setting, think about what fears or stories are getting in your way. Are you afraid to speak up because you fear you might be judged? Do you stay quiet because you’re afraid it won't come out perfect? Can you identify the fear that might be choking your voice? As you begin to let go of that fear your own voice will shine through. Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, focus instead on being seen and heard. Focus on the true value of your words and your offerings.
After I spoke up that first time, I realized that I didn’t die and no one laughed at me. People actually listened to what I said and my thoughts were important in informing the ultimate decision we made.
The next time you’re in a meeting agonizing over raising your hand or simply inserting yourself into a conversation, stop and ask yourself, Why not? If you own that what you have to say is important and you’re speaking from your heart, you will be amazing.
To read more about topics like this one, check out my book The Myth of the Nice Girl.