My Secret Tool to Setting Boundaries
As a working mom, there have been many times in my career that I’ve felt like a juggler. Life can easily get so hectic that it’s hard to be productive at all, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed by work. When I shared this with a mentor, she said, ‘You need to choose the things that really matter to you.”
I took her advice to heart. I realized I needed to step back, take an objective and honest look at what I most valued and where I wanted to focus my time and energy. Once I figured that out, I came up with a plan to cut down on the commitments that weren’t aligned with my priorities. I created a Four-Square method to force myself to create and maintain these boundaries. Here’s how to do it:
Draw a quadrant on a piece of paper and label each of the four squares with the most important areas of your life. Career will most likely be one of the four, but others may be a hobby, political advocacy, or a particular relationship. Write this at the top of each box.
In each square, list no more than three top priorities related to that part of your life. For the career square, it can be hard to limit to three, but setting clear priorities for this quadrant forces you to determine what to focus on and what you should stop doing (which is even more crucial). It will also eliminate some brain anxiety about feeling like you’re working on the wrong things. Ask yourself, “What do I most want to learn or improve to take my career to the next level right now?” Maybe it’s learning to become more efficient with your research work or taking on a more visible cross-department project. You can also ask your boss, “This is what I think I should be focusing on based on our company goals. Does this look right to you?”
Once a week, review your calendar and to-do list for alignment with these priorities. I’ve found that the discipline of this weekly review is critical to ensure that I’m not allowing other less important tasks to seep into my life.
Keep updating your Four-Square. Priorities can change. Every quarter, I sit down and redefine these areas. This helps to define my life balance and my boundaries and helps me stay focused on the most important parts of life.
If you’re interested in going deeper on my Four-Square method and downloading a template, click here!