Youngest Person in the Room Syndrome
Have you ever been the youngest leader at the table and felt like everyone is asking themselves, Why? Why is she here? You’re not alone. I asked my Instagram followers to share what they were struggling with at work and many brought up the challenges of being the youngest in the room. They mentioned feeling like they’re not being taken seriously, they’re questioning how they can provide value when they are working with people who are much more experienced, and ultimately, they feel like they don’t deserve a seat at the table.
It’s natural to feel this way. The majority of workplaces still operate in a hierarchical structure where the most senior people hold the most power. That can be intimidating.
I’ve been there, too. When I was promoted to a director level at Coke at 29, I suddenly had 140 people reporting to me, many of whom had been working there for years. I didn’t understand what I’d done to earn this promotion ahead of people who were more experienced and senior, not to mention older, than me. So I directly asked my boss, “Why me?” His answer has stuck with me throughout my entire career. He told me, “Because you’re smart and you make my life easier.”
I do believe our instincts sharpen with age because of years of experience seeing problems being solved (or not) and testing results and outcomes, but younger employees’ instincts are also an advantage. They offer valuable new skills, a unique network of people to learn from, and a fresh perspective that can see potential blindspots and question why things are done a certain way.
Also, young people tend to be eager to learn and want to create impact. This positive energy and enthusiasm can be contagious, having a positive effect on team morale and creative collaboration. The workplace is stronger, more effective, and more profitable when the people sitting around the table come from different backgrounds, ethnicity, gender and yes even age.
If you’re feeling overly scrutinized or experiencing self-doubts about being the youngest at the table, try these strategies.
Be prepared. Intellectual curiosity is your best asset in an intimidating situation. Do your homework before any meeting and write down a few smart questions that help prove you know what you’re talking about. Take time to listen to others and follow up with thoughtful inquiries about their perspective. Don’t dominate the conversation, rather keep it flowing.
Find an ally. When I was in my early twenties working at Ernst & Young, in my quest to be agreeable above all else, I was overly deferential, a “people pleaser.” I was easily intimidated by clients and in meetings I would just agree with whatever the client would say. Eventually, my boss pulled me aside and told me, “Fran, you’re yessing the client to death.” It was the push I needed to feel confident in my own ideas and push back (nicely) when necessary. Find your own meeting ally who can amplify your voice and credibility. Try to develop a mentoring relationship with a senior executive who travels in your work circle; or enlist a peer who also needs a boost to feel more comfortable in the room.
Reflect on “What value do I bring?” There’s a reason you’re in the room; remind yourself of it. It might be a talent (being able to bring teams together to produce great work), a unique network, a skill (distilling complex financials into a few key takeaways, like me at Coke), knowledge in an emerging trend or platform, or the confidence to ask tough questions. If you don’t know, ask your boss or another leader just like I did at Ernst & Young.
Write your strengths down. Post them on your bulletin board or save them on your phone. When you’re feeling nervous about walking into that meeting, know that not only do you deserve a seat at the table but that your age and fresh perspective is what will make your company stronger. You are not an imposter, you’re one of their best assets!
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