Using Your Competence to Build Your Confidence
A few years ago, I spoke at a university about leading with compassion to a group of about one hundred students, most of whom were female. When my talk was over and it was time for the Q&A session, I noticed that out of the twenty or so hands that went up, only one belonged to a female student. Yet after I finished answering the questions and I was leaving the stage, several female students lined up to have a chance to speak with me one-on-one.
After the event, I spent some time talking to the Dean of the Business School, and I pointed out what I’d noticed about the female students who seemed more comfortable talking to me individually than asking a question in front of the entire group. He responded, “The same thing happens at every single event, no matter who the speaker is.”
It struck me that these young women — who had impressed me with their confidence and intelligence in our one-on-one conversations — were still holding themselves back by not speaking up in front of others. Throughout my career, I’ve observed how many women have this tendency to remain quiet at work in group situations. This is something that I actively had to fight against myself, especially early on in my career.
Once I did find my voice, I saw that it was necessary to speak up to be as effective as possible in my role, while many of the women around me fell into the trap of being seen as ineffective or weak because they never took a vocal stand. No matter how brilliant and impressive these women may have been in one-on-one discussions, not speaking up in meetings hurt their chances of succeeding professionally.
Speaking up isn’t just crucial for your career advancement. Your thoughts, ideas, and opinions are valuable; if they’re not heard, it’s truly a missed opportunity for your employer too. In 2014, Scientific American published a groundbreaking special report on how diversity powers innovation. By studying decades of research, they concluded that groups “with a diversity of race, ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation” are more creative and innovative than homogenous groups. As a result, hearing multiple and diverse opinions consistently leads to better business outcomes.
This means that no matter what industry you work in, you can help your company and your own career if you speak up and add your unique and valuable perspective. Use your voice, and take up space. It’s a gift to other women to lead the way and show them how powerful we all can be.
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